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◊♦◊ We all have our own selfish reasons for leaving our partners, just as we sometimes have our own selfish reasons for staying.Even after the ugliest of break-ups, we grieve that our ex finds the right partner.It may not sound very sexy, but finding a person with similar interests and values means that your relationship is more likely to be a long-term one than simply relying on physical attraction to determine you level of compatibility.
Rebounding isn’t something that happens once with a single partner; it’s an emotional state that a grieving person undergoes after a break-up, and there isn’t a limit on how long that grieving takes, nor are there fool-proof steps to get through the grief faster.
It can be both exciting and scary to step out on your own to build a new life for yourself, especially if you are a custodial parent with young children.
Instead of filling the void in your life left by the breakup with a new person, you may want to do the following instead: As you get closer to the time when you can see yourself going out on dates, take the time to figure out who you are looking for in a romantic partner. What kinds of things are deal-breakers as far as romance is concerned, and what are you prepared to be flexible on?
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Jumping into a new relationship too quickly after a break-up is called “rebounding.” It’s called this because it’s a period where you are vulnerable and inviting attention on yourself from people who have their own agendas, just as an NBA player becomes vulnerable immediately after retrieving a missed shot.
The fact that they were wrong for us doesn’t mean they deserve to be alone and miserable for the rest of their life.