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24-Jan-2021 02:52

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She doesn’t think you know how to ask someone out on a date. And almost none of the students she encounters at Boston College have dated — dated the way, say, their grandparents dated, which is to say asking someone out, picking someone up, planning a nice outing or evening for someone, paying someone else’s way, getting to know someone else. “This is a lost social script,” says Cronin, who for two decades has taught in the great-books program at Boston College but might be best known for teaching BC students how to go on a date. “They talk about how it felt to make themselves vulnerable, about their fears, about how they chose the person to ask.

She doesn’t think you know how to behave on a date. “What’s helpful about teaching people how to date is teaching people social courage, teaching people how to ask someone else who he or she is, listening — and being listened — to.” This all started when Cronin was teaching a senior capstone class here on this lovely campus just outside Boston. They talk about how hard it was to take a chance.” Cronin does not believe in splitting the check.

So if you are bold you could say "Seems like we aren't getting a good convo on the app -- here's my number if you want to call" Or even bolder ask for hers.

She’s Kerry Cronin, the associate director of the Lonergan Institute, a philosophy and theology research center at Boston College, and she’s concerned about your social skills. In recent years, Cronin has taught mostly first-year students, and for them the dating thing is not exactly mandatory. “The best part of the assignment is that they come back and talk about the date,” she says.

), pick the check / don’t accept our offer to go dutch, have a plan B ready (rooftop bar, coffee shop, park, piers…) if dinner goes well and you don’t want the night to end; slide over if we share a cab, take us home or walk us to the subway and give us a goodnight kiss, make sure we call to say we are home safe if you didn’t drive us home (and, more importantly, even if you are not into us!

), call the day after asking for a second date or simply saying you are not that into us instead of ghosting… Dear femmes who give your numbers only to butches you are truly interested in, pick up the phone when they call, say yes to a date and don’t cancel, don’t tell the butch that you have other plans for later that night as if you were doing her a favor for letting her take you out for dinner before the real fun begins, understand that a butch touching base pre-date doesn’t mean they are needy, get your hair done, squeeze in a mani and pedi and some waxing before your date, find out if there will be walking involved so you can wear sensitive shoes (still cute and sexy but maybe not five inch heels), pick three or four outfits that match the shoes in advance, change your outfit five minutes before the butch picks you up, don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu, don’t make it all about you, your ex and your cats; don’t check your phone every two minutes, listen to and ask questions to the butch sitting in front of you, don’t rush through dinner, pretend you’ll pay your half but let the butch take care of dinner, gently let her down if you are not interested…

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Nothing lost because it would have petered out anyway.

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